


Save Me

by Valktar



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types
Genre: Eventual Smut, Food Porn, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:53:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25214224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valktar/pseuds/Valktar
Summary: Armie has become a single man after years of marriage and returned to LA. Without any notice, an unexpected visitor arrives to his house.
Relationships: Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	Save Me

It was done.

It was _actually_ done.

Armie Hammer was officially a single man.

The man had returned to his home in Los Angeles and announced to Instagram, with his wife, that he and her had ended their long ten-year marriage. He had disabled the comments on that post because god knows what the actual fuck people might say. Upon arrive to his house, he put his shit-ton weighed luggage down and went to collapse on the couch. He signed out of tiredness. Then, he whipped out his phone to check what the fuck was going. His divorce was all over the news. It spanned across so many news articles that his fucking name trended on Twitter for 5 minutes. Armie was in awe with this.

 _Woah_ , he thought, _Those motherfuckers are quick as fuck_.

After he was doing surfing on the dank internet, he locked his phone and decided to get some sleep. After all, the night was about to bleed into midnight. As he was about to hit the hay, a loud ass knocked omitted. Groaning in frustration, he went to go check. "Who is it?" He asked.

There wasn't a reply.

"Who the _fuck_ is it??" He asked more aggressively. Armie was growing impatient. Who the fuck would be at his house at 11pm? The fella just came back from the Cayman Islands.

There wasn't a reply.

Armie had enough of this game. He unlocked the door and to his surprise, Timothée Chalamet was standing at his door.

"Timmy!" Armie exclaims. He pulled Tim into a tight hug. The man hadn't seen this homie for quite a while. After standing at the door and hugging Tim for deadass 10 minutes, Armie took some steps back. "That hug was too short, anyway come in! We must have lots to catch up on." Tim nods his head and walks into Armie's house because twinks first. After the two men settled down on Armie couch, they talked with each other for a few good minutes.

"So, I heard what happened with you and Elizabeth."

Armie hesitates for a fat second because he's one dummy thick dude. He realizes Timmy's twinky ass is talking about his fucking divorce.

"Yeah, we did it because we felt it was for the best. I'm a bit upset, but I'm sure she's going to be fine," Armie replies.

The conversation died and a deafening silence filled the room. The two exchanged occasionally glances when all the sudden Timmy launched himself at Armie, trapping him on the couch with his twinky bod on top of Armie's Mr. Worldwide bod. Timmy took his glory time to observe Armie's fucking god like structure while licking his lips hungrily. Armie just stares at him with a poker face.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

Before knowing shit, Tim starts licking Armies face like how Armie did in that movie _Mirror Mirror_. By the time Timmy was done, Armie was covered in saliva that smelled like bagels. Armie scrunched his face. "Bro, are you alright-" Before Armie could finish his sentence, he looked at Timmy's green ass piercing ass eyes because eye contact is important in many situations.

Timmy's green eyes were fucking dilated so hard, Armie would see himself in those black pits.

Armie started getting alarmed because he wasn't sure what the fuck was gonna happen. Then Timmy broke the silence:

"Duuuude I've been longing for your juicy, manly, handsomely ass so damn hard. I want you to ram that hammer up my ass till my knees look like broken tree branches. Shit~ might as well tie up my body so I can't move. Dude wouldn't that be-"

"Timmy, I'm not ga-"

Timmy fucking kisses Armie so fucking hard that their lips were bruised by the time they pull apart. Armie looks at Tim in disbelief: Was this a fever dream? He god hoped so. If not, then oh shit he must've purchased a ticket for one hectic ride of many possibilities. Armie assumes this isn't a fever dream because Timmy starts to mangle with Armie's pants and Armie realizes that there was a line and Tim was about to cross it. Armie charges his hands at Timmy's and tackles him to the ground. He looks at him dead in the eye and says:

"Bruh, ain't no way you gonna vore my weenie with that bagel stank mouth of yours. Plus, I don't wanna shred your ass into two."

Armie takes another breath to figure the situation out.

"Homie, I love you-" Before Armie could finish, Timmy claps his hands onto Armie's mouth and replies:

"I love you too, Armie."

Armie looks at Timmy with the most un-fucking-enthusiatic face. He sighs and straddles Timmy's lap to grasp the reality of the fucking situation.

"Tim, I didn't finish: I was gonna say no homo," Timmy balls at that statement, he was practically in tears. He was weeping at an alarming rate that bitches might need life jackets. Timmy feels defeated: Armie has rejected his love.

"Wait Tim-" Armie wasn't able to finish his sentence because he was knocked out cold.

* * *

Armie wakes up in his bedroom. He blinks a few times, trying to grasp what just happened and where he was. _Man, it was just a dream_. He tries to get up, but he is tied to the bed. Armie yanks on the restrains hard and harder, but they wouldn't budge.

_Oh shit this isn't a dream._

Armie looks at the edge of his bed and sees Timmy at the edge.

But Timmy didn't look like when he came into his house. That was because Timmy was in a fucking chicken suit. Armie is confused on what the actual fuck was happening. He tries moving again, attempting once again to free himself from the restrains, but the restrains were some tight suckers.

_Shit._

Timmy walks to the very foot of the bed and says:

"Come and eat me, Armie~"

Armie ends up shrieking into the oblivion.

He was never seen again.

**Author's Note:**

> You just got ricked rolled 😎 This fanfic is an absolute joke, chill.


End file.
